December 31, 2003
December 31, 2003
Happy days are here again, I feel them coming with the new year. More than ready to turn the calendar, I can now do it with a sense of ease. Good news from Dr. Coscia today. My cancer is in remission; there's never a cure, but that's okay. Risky business he says, but I guess I've always lived on the edge and been adventuresome. That's an adventure I hope never to repeat. The doctor is happy with the results, and he made me feel special as he threw me a kiss across the desk as we wished each other a happy new year. I am grateful for those who help others, and I hope I can be a better person to people in the future.
I was so happy, I quickly called J., then Bill, then I went to tell mom and dad that I was okay. In spite of the way I feel about cemetries, I went. The ground was unsettled where mom is buried, dirt freshly dug up, without grass. I didn't cry, but deeply felt the loneliness of lost loved ones. I so wanted to share the good news with my parents. I wonder if the emptiness I feel will ever feel full with the joys that come my way. Like today's news, I wanted to share it with mom. She would have been a great comfort through this ordeal. But I feel her courage and strength in me
Then I called Tom, Kristen, and Kim, and Kristen quickly called and wished me congratulations. I later called Joanne Duncan who was to call Debbie… very pleased with the news.
I was so excited, I just couldn't go home. But I really had no place to go. I guess that's how people develop shopping addictions. I had a skirt on my mind from Bloomingdales, and had also been thinking about my favorite Lauren saleswoman, Claudette, who is comforting to chat with… and she had also called to see how I was doing, saying this is an old friend, flattering to me that she was thinking of me. I was soon grounded in reality of her need to bring in her clients when she told a client she had called several yesterday to see where they were. Although there are times I do not buy, she never puts on any pressure.
I later called Aunt Betty without reaching her, and Aunt Marie who said she had been thinking of me. Called Susan who called back shortly thereafter to tell me she has been thinking of me.
As I sit here writing I am happy, but it is difficult for me to get back to my routine of playing the piano and afternoon reading. Things will settle down I'm sure and hopefully my life will show some semblance of routine. Not that I want to get into a routine rut, but I believe people need a routine to keep them on track and feel like productive members of society.
It's funny how throughout this illness I really didn't want to talk about it, but I did whine about the aches and pains, and now I want to boast to the world that I am okay. But I think I need to move on; of course, telling those who were with me along the way. Now is time to look forward and not look back; focusing on the moment with an eye on the direction in which I'm going.
I realize I'm not too creative in my words today, but I just wanted to express my joy for the good news.
Happy days are here again, I feel them coming with the new year. More than ready to turn the calendar, I can now do it with a sense of ease. Good news from Dr. Coscia today. My cancer is in remission; there's never a cure, but that's okay. Risky business he says, but I guess I've always lived on the edge and been adventuresome. That's an adventure I hope never to repeat. The doctor is happy with the results, and he made me feel special as he threw me a kiss across the desk as we wished each other a happy new year. I am grateful for those who help others, and I hope I can be a better person to people in the future.
I was so happy, I quickly called J., then Bill, then I went to tell mom and dad that I was okay. In spite of the way I feel about cemetries, I went. The ground was unsettled where mom is buried, dirt freshly dug up, without grass. I didn't cry, but deeply felt the loneliness of lost loved ones. I so wanted to share the good news with my parents. I wonder if the emptiness I feel will ever feel full with the joys that come my way. Like today's news, I wanted to share it with mom. She would have been a great comfort through this ordeal. But I feel her courage and strength in me
Then I called Tom, Kristen, and Kim, and Kristen quickly called and wished me congratulations. I later called Joanne Duncan who was to call Debbie… very pleased with the news.
I was so excited, I just couldn't go home. But I really had no place to go. I guess that's how people develop shopping addictions. I had a skirt on my mind from Bloomingdales, and had also been thinking about my favorite Lauren saleswoman, Claudette, who is comforting to chat with… and she had also called to see how I was doing, saying this is an old friend, flattering to me that she was thinking of me. I was soon grounded in reality of her need to bring in her clients when she told a client she had called several yesterday to see where they were. Although there are times I do not buy, she never puts on any pressure.
I later called Aunt Betty without reaching her, and Aunt Marie who said she had been thinking of me. Called Susan who called back shortly thereafter to tell me she has been thinking of me.
As I sit here writing I am happy, but it is difficult for me to get back to my routine of playing the piano and afternoon reading. Things will settle down I'm sure and hopefully my life will show some semblance of routine. Not that I want to get into a routine rut, but I believe people need a routine to keep them on track and feel like productive members of society.
It's funny how throughout this illness I really didn't want to talk about it, but I did whine about the aches and pains, and now I want to boast to the world that I am okay. But I think I need to move on; of course, telling those who were with me along the way. Now is time to look forward and not look back; focusing on the moment with an eye on the direction in which I'm going.
I realize I'm not too creative in my words today, but I just wanted to express my joy for the good news.
posted by Jacques at 2:03 AM
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